Saturday, January 3, 2009

Mrs. PH chimes in

I don't know where to start. I guess with this... guys, if you do like to wear, please tell your partner straight away rather than waiting for them to find out by accident. It will save a lot of misunderstanding and hurt feelings for both parties.

In our relationship we are dealing with a couple of sides of the wearing issue, one of which I am struggling with.

I get the functional part about it. It is clothing. It's not the norm, but one person's normal is another person's out there. Normal is relative. So I guess what I'm saying is, if you like it, go right ahead. The function isn't hurting anyone, at least in this relationship.

But the sexualised/fetish part I don't get. I understand compared to many, this is tame. However with me there is emotional discomfort attached. I'll start off by saying I am sensory defensive and don't like the feeling of certain clothing, including button down/woven shirts, shoes that tie and boots that go over the calf. I hate having my legs to be touched, even innocent things like a cat rubbing against my legs is uncomfortable to me most of the time. Maybe it goes back to my infancy and being in a body cast because of hip dysplasia. Regardless, I have issues with my legs being touched and pressure on them. Needless to say, these issues would probably not make me a good candiate to explore being a submissive ;-)

Ok, back to the hose. I hate wearing socks too. Right now my feet are freezing, but I would rather have cold toes than wear socks. Just touching hose (and most other silky clothing, like slips) with my hands skeeves me out, therefore wearing them is just wholly unbearable. These sensory issues I have makes me unable to appreciate the appeal of the sexualised side of it. I don't get it and won't pretend I do. And because I sometimes feel like I'm supposed to like it, it can cause me to feel hurt (for lack of a better word), and at the same time frustrates me because I know how much my husband does like it and I can't be supportive or "join in the phun."

I agreed to start this collaboration in hopes of finding others that are in my situation- there seems to be no happy medium out there. Either the information is purely functional with no ability to discuss the fetish side, or it's so over the top fetish/sexualised with pornographic pictures (which is another whole issue) that I am afraid of not getting the answers I want because what I have found seems to be couples that enjoy it together. Where is the PH balance? Yes, I named the blog. I thought of it in the shower. I do some of my best thinking there.

I know I am asking a lot. So guys, if you have a partner that is out there who might be feeling like me, please send them this way.


Colleen said...

I can understand most men's fetish, if not other reasons for wearing pantyhose. I can easily relate because I used to be one of them. (now time to freak out) I am a transsexual, male to female. Before I decided to become what I am, I was like most men, loved wearing pantyhose and there was a degree of sexuality involved with it. I wore them every chance I could. I was also married, and my spouse was also okay with it, as long as it wasn't public. She was not a fan of legwear either but gave into temporary eroticism. Other than that, it was her daily office attire, which she promptly removed upon returning home. Of course she was lenient about my cross dressing too. But there was so much more I wanted, I couldn't hide anymore, it was tearing me apart from the inside out. When I 'came out' pantyhose became a need, no longer a fetish. My fetish for them actually goes deeper, meaning other erotic uses for pantyhose. Being just legwear doesn't affect me sexually unless my potential mate is wearing them with me. I've talked to and met many genetic women that do enjoy wearing pantyhose, though the percentage is still low. There's probably 100 or more reasons men can give for wearing them. Some of those reasons relate to the next. I can only support them, not say they cant or shouldn't. Personally, if I were in a relationship with a man, him wearing them would turn me off. Hope you don't mind me offering my 2¢ on this. Thanks

Mrs PH said...

Welcome Colleen. No freakout or gasps of astonishment but rather appreciation for seeing another facet. Thanks for taking the time to respond.